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The White Trash Mom Handbook: Embrace Your Inner Trailerpark, Forget Perfection, Resist Assimilation into the PTA, Stay Sane, and Keep Your Sense of Humor Paperback – Illustrated, August 5, 2008

by Michelle Lamar (Author), Molly Wendland (Author)

18 ratings

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A mommy manifesto for the mom who proudly strives to be less-than-perfect

Michelle Lamar is a wry observer of the politics of elementary schools, the perfect moms who run them, and the kids who are trying to grow up without being embarrassed to death by their parents. This book imparts invaluable advice on how to survive the brutal world of parenting, bake sales, and the PTA.

The White Trash Mom Handbook is a welcome and humorous approach to handling the pressures of modern-day motherhood. Readers can get a good laugh while learning the knowledge and skills needed to become a White Trash Mom:

Fake Bakin' - transform store-bought treats into bake sale bestsellers!
Making Friends - how to spot a fellow White Trash Mom from 50 paces
Helping Out - give back to the school without sacrificing your time or sanity.

The White Trash Mom Handbook will teach moms to let go of being the best and embrace their inner rebel so they can enjoy their kids more, avoid PTA purgatory, and get a real life.

Editorial Reviews

Review

“I love it! The immediate comparison is to my favorite pregnancy book, The Girlfriend's Guide to Pregnancy. I think every mom sending her child to kindergarten needs to read this book before Labor Day.” ―Amie Adams, DC Metro Moms, Mamma Loves, and Kirtsy xxx

“I aspire to the life lessons here, especially how to fake it for the bake sale.” ―Kara Swisher, Co-Executive Editor of All Things D, Author

“Take it from a Yellow Trash Dad that The White Trash Mom Handbook is a book that you should read. Actually, you don't have to read it. Just buy it. Michelle will be just as happy either way--as would I be.” ―Guy Kawasaki, Co-founder of Alltop as in Moms.alltop.com, Author of The Art of the Start, founder of Garage Ventures xxx

“Filled with lots of funny anecdotes and practical advice on not letting the pretentious aspects of Modern Parenting get you down.” ―Gabrielle Blair, New York Designer, writer of "Design Mom" and founder of online community KIRTSY.

“Michelle Lamar's refreshingly realistic take on motherhood never fails to amuse--and inform. If only we were neighbors, we'd buy her a beer.” ―Jessica Morgan, creator of HeatherCocksGoFugYourself.com and author of The Fug Awards

“Michelle totally strips the veneer off the ideal mom and tells you to knock it off already if you are spending time and energy trying to be perfect, or even good enough.” ―Melinda Roberts, The Mommy Blog, Chief Blogger for MomBlog Network, Author

“Some clarification is due here: Michelle is being ironic when she uses the term White Trash as in 'My house doesn't look like the pages of Martha Stewart's Living -- I guess we're White Trash.' Or 'We were in a hurry, so the kids had a drive-thru lunch today--I guess I'm White Trash.' If you are looking for decorating tips for your doublewide trailer, this book is not for you. But if you'd like some real advice on juggling motherhood and work, navigating the hierarchy of your kids' schools or how to deal with the PTA, you will enjoy Michelle's book.” ―Donna Schwartz Mills, Blogger for Socal Mom and Momocrats

“This handbook is a LIFESAVER. Now I can Fake It For the Bake Sale and Blend IN at the PTA meetings. Michelle Lamar's irreverent handbook is a must read for all mothers. It's a reminder that no mom is perfect and offers tips and tricks even the trashiest Mom can use to help navigate the mess of love that is parenthood.” ―Erin Kotecki, Vest-Queen of Spain Blog, Huffington Post

“Buy it for your sister-in-law who gives you the stink-eye every time you give your kid an unthawed eggo. Buy it for the woman in your mommy-and-me group who makes you feel like crap for not making your 3 year old go to Violin/French/Juggling lessons and send another copy to the bitchy chick down the street. The White Trash Mom Handbook is not about money or status or education. It's about giving yourself the freedom to be yourself, and that is a good thing indeed.” ―Jenny Lawson, Houston Chronicle and The Bloggess

“Every mother out there who doesn't have a full-time nanny, chef, chauffeur, agent, personal trainer and masseuse should read this book! The White Trash Mom Handbook is mommy self-help at its finest and funniest.” ―Lash Fary, Celebrity Gift Guru and Author

“Whether you need help faking a tray of "homemade" brownies for the bake sale, or coming up with outrageous lies to tell your children for their own good, the White Trash Mom Handbook is a veritable encyclopedia of common sense wisdom. In a world that seems to continually reward style over substance, The White Trash Mom Handbook is a modern-day 95 Theses nailed to the pre-school door.” ―Christopher B. O'Hara, author of Great American Beer, Senior Vice President, Reviewed.com

“Blogebrity, the "velvet rope" of the blog world has deemed White Trash Mom worthy of our "B" list. The book is funny, even if you're not a parent.” ―Kyle Bunch Blogebrity.com

“Out of all the parenting books available to moms these days, White Trash Mom stands out. More than just a fierce, strong and hilarious punch back at the competitive moms - called out as Muffia - Michelle's book serves as a guide for moms with children of all ages to band together and revel in our imperfections. Plus, it goes well with a nice Merlot.” ―Stephanie Wilder Taylor, author of Sippy Cups are Not for Chardonnay and Naptime is the New Happyhour

About the Author

MICHELLE LAMAR aka “The White Trash Mom” has 20 years experience in the advertising and public relations business. Her website averages more than 3,500 unique visitors per week and counting and her blog has over 25,000 readers per month. In addition, Michelle blogs on Disney’s Family.com and contributes to a very popular blog called “Celebitchy” that gets over 2.5 million readers a month.

Molly Wendland contributed to The White Trash Mom Handbook from St. Martin's Press.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

The White Trash Mom Handbook

Embrace Your Inner Trailerpark, Forget Perfection, Resist Assimilation into the PTA, Stay Sane, and Keep Your Sense of HumorBy Lamar, Michelle

St. Martin's Griffin

Copyright © 2008 Lamar, Michelle
All right reserved.
ISBN: 9780312371227
Preface Why Perfection Is Overrated Modern mothers are expected to look like Heather Locklear and pull down a six-figure salary while home schooling the kids. This standard of perfection is the status quo in today’s culture.

I began writing a blog in August 2005 as a way of dealing with some of the ridiculous and insane expectations that are part of modern motherhood. I called my blog White Trash Mom. I gave it a trashy name and wrote about my life with a snarky and humorous tone. As soon as I started the blog, the floodgates opened. I heard from women all over the United States and the world, and many women identified with me and told me their experiences of living up to perfect expectations. I can’t tell you how many times I hear I thought I was the only one who felt that way or I thought I was the only one who thought that was wrong.

I was not alone. You are not alone. Mothers have to stick together in the face of outrageous ideas of how we should look, behave, and live. The current state of motherhood isn’t going to change overnight. Your kids will be grown by the time real change occurs. But because things aren’t going to change any time soon, my book is an attempt to offer some ideas and shortcuts to make the wait time more pleasurable.

Fight the Insanity with the Right Weapons

Mothers are expected to do the impossible on a daily basis, wearing six-inch pumps and a thong. The expectations are insane and moms can’t win that battle. Since the mothers are set up to fail, I believe we should fight back by whatever methods we can. We can’t play by the rules because the rules, in the words of my teenager…suck. That’s where White Trash Mom comes in.

"White Trash" Is a State of Mind

There are a lot of crazy ideas about what makes a good mother these days. If you don’t have a body like a movie star, pull down a big salary, dress like a sex kitten, and home school your kids, you are a loser. You are a failure if you are not a supermom. In fact, trying to be the perfect mom can only drive you crazy.

Once you admit to yourself how ridiculous some of the expectations for moms are, you can begin to change your attitude and become what I like to call a White Trash Mom.

No Trailerpark Necessary

A White Trash Mom doesn’t have to be white or trashy or live in a double-wide down by the river. It has nothing to do with socioeconomic status.

A White Trash Mom represents a philosophy and a perspective on motherhood. Being a lifelong smart-ass, I gave this philosophy of parenting a smart-ass name.

It’s a name I chose to represent the opposite of perfection. Perfect is in… so if you’re not a perfect mom, you’re a White Trash Mom.

This book is an attempt to help you find your perspective on motherhood. Navigate your own shortcuts through the insane expectations. You can call your philosophy "Yankee Fabulous" or "Santa Monica Slacker." Call it whatever you want but find a way to work around the rules.

Why I Became a White Trash Mom

It was not my lifelong goal to become known as White Trash Mom. I began writing about white trash motherhood in protest against the onslaught of "shoulds" and "musts" we moms face every day. We all know these expectations are unrealistic, but we can’t help but hold ourselves up against them and become discouraged when we can’t measure up. We know it’s propaganda but it can still make us feel just a teeny bit inferior. We have encountered these unrealistic expectations in the media, our neighborhoods, and homes.

Mothers Who Look Like Supermodels

We know that the sixteen-year-old models who weigh seventy-nine pounds and are featured in the magazine ads for "mommy and me" clothes are not really moms. We know that they are models and actresses, and are some art director’s hallucination (albeit a concentration-camp type of hallucination) of what a mom should look like. We know all the photos in the magazines are airbrushed. But we can’t help it; we still compare ourselves.

Quick and Easy Is Neither

We know that Martha Stewart and others like her have a staff of forty to do the cucumber sandwiches for that magazine article that features Martha and her "easy cucumber sandwiches." We know that much of what is pitched to moms in the media is propaganda and is not real. Deep inside, you doubt yourself just a little when you read that article about the "easy cucumber sandwiches," and don’t make them for your next luncheon or tea. Never mind that your last "luncheon" was eaten in the car on the way to little Susie’s soccer practice.

Myth of Perfection

So, know that the myth of perfection is a scam. But hardly anyone writes about it or talks about it. Every mother buys into the "ideal" and spends the first few years of her mom career beating herself up for not measuring up. It doesn’t feel right and doesn’t do much for the old self-esteem but because we think that we’re the only one—we don’t fight the system.

Good News… You Are Not Alone

You’re not a bad mother if the school has to call you because your kid has a negative balance for his school lunch account. You’re not a bad mother if your kid is the last one picked up from school. You aren’t the only one who feels like you are a bad mom if you don’t have your kids signed up for ten different sports and a language class (or two). Lots of moms feel pressure to look like a "sex kitten," wear chic clothes while pulling down a full-time job and heading up the PTA. Even when you figure out that it’s impossible to "do it all," you’ve wasted years of your life trying to shoehorn yourself into a role that just doesn’t fit. If you’re lucky, you find other moms like you who know perfection is overrated and together you discover that the way to deal with motherhood is to have some great friends, a good sense of humor, and a taste for adventure.

Finding Your Inner White Trash Mom

Because the modern standard of perfection for mothers is not going away overnight, you have to play along with the charade to a certain degree. Sometimes you can buck the system but it can be a lot easier to play along. But you don’t have to lose your soul, or your sense of humor, in the process. I am going to reveal some of my White Trash Mom secrets, so that reality and sanity can become a regular part of your daily life.

There are times you have to confront the problems head on but you have to work within the current "system" most of the time. You have to play the game but that doesn’t mean that you can’t play along by some of your own rules!

This book is a guide to help you find your own White Trash methods of cheating the system. I want to help you find your inner White Trash Mom so that reality and sanity can creep back into your daily life.

The White Trash Mom philosophy is catching on and I am hopeful that we can eventually change the world… one mom at a time.

Please keep these things in mind as you read this book:

It’s okay to lie… sometimes.

Some of my tactics involve being dishonest. For example, pretending that you baked a cake when you really bought it at the store. I don’t think lying is the right way to live your life. But extreme situations sometimes call for extreme solutions. The only reason I give the advice I do is because the current expectations of motherhood are so unrealistic. Call fudging your culinary skills the lesser of two evils.

My backyard is a lot like yours.

The problems and issues that are discussed in this book are universal. Just because I write about issues in my children’s school or our church doesn’t mean it’s a criticism of one community or school. It’s just a way of showing you that what happens here can happen anywhere. And believe me, it does.

Find your inner trailerpark.

This book is more of an idea grab bag for coping with kids, school, and more without losing your mind or your sense of humor.

Preschool is the pregame.

There are tons of baby books and books that tell you how to balance work and motherhood. Many of these books concentrate on the days when children are newborn to age four. It’s only after your kids are old enough to trust them not to stick a fork in the electrical outlet or drink toilet water that the tough part of your job as a mom begins. The baby and toddler years are the pregame, ladies. Elementary school is where "the big show" begins and you need to combine the diplomatic skills of a UN ambassador with the quick-change skills of a Las Vegas showgirl to be on the front lines of the battlefield.

We live in a perfection society now, in which it is possible to make our bodies last longer, to manipulate our faces so that the lines of laughter and distress are wiped out. We believe in the illusion of control, and nowhere has that become more powerful and more pernicious than in the phenomenon of manic motherhood.

—Anna Quindlen, from "The Good Enough Mother," Newsweek, February 21, 2005

Excerpted from The White Trash Mom Hand Book by Michelle Lamar with Molly Wendland

Published in 2008 by St. Martin’s Griffin

All rights reserved. This work is protected under copyright laws and reproduction is strictly prohibited. Permission to reproduce the material in any manner or medium must be secured from the Publisher

Continues...
Excerpted from The White Trash Mom Handbook by Lamar, Michelle Copyright © 2008 by Lamar, Michelle. Excerpted by permission.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

Product details

Publisher ‏ : ‎ St. Martin's Griffin
Publication date ‏ : ‎ August 5, 2008
Edition ‏ : ‎ First Edition
Language ‏ : ‎ English
Print length ‏ : ‎ 240 pages
ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 0312371225
ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-0312371227
Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 8 ounces
Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.5 x 0.57 x 8.25 inches

Best Sellers Rank: #5,329,496 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
- #4,591 in Parenting & Families Humor
- #10,119 in Motherhood (Books)
- #25,063 in Fiction Satire

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TeaTime
Worst Book Ever
Reviewed in the United States on November 23, 2012
Verified Purchase

This book was a complete waste of my time and money. I have never review a book before, but I feel a sense of responsibility to knock this book down a few notches from its undeserved 5 star rating so that others don't get tricked into buying this book, the way I was. I was initially excited to read this book because I thought it was going to be funny and full of encouragement for moms who are tired of living up to expectations to be The Perfect Mother. It was neither. The most disturbing part about the book is that the author in fact WANTS to be perceived as The Perfect Mother but does not want to put in the time and effort it takes to achieve this so-called status. So instead, she lies, fakes, and cheats her way to making herself look better than she really is. Furthermore, the author admits that she knows her behavior is wrong, but she justifies it by claiming that she is doing it for the good of her children. Buyer, beware.

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Practically Perfect Patti
Perfectly Imperfect
Reviewed in the United States on September 22, 2008
Format: PaperbackVerified Purchase
OK -- get past the title and BUY THIS BOOK! It reminds us all the most important thing is to accept, embrace, and celebrate our imperfect parenting skills. We all know our kids best and God in his infinite wisdom and perfect sense of humor gave them to each of us to raise - to the best of our abilities. This book drives home the message again and again that our actions speak louder then words. Who wants little Susie to think that time spent with a trainer perfecting our backhand or at the mall searching for the latest designer handbag is more important then time spent volunteering and taking care of our families - while having fun and staying sane? Well done, ladies, well done!

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sxxcxcxcccccc
RUN, don't walk!
Reviewed in the United States on January 12, 2018
I LOVE this book!! I have it read this book 3 times now and it instantly puts me in a good mood every time! As a Mom of 2, one being special needs, I am constantly second guessing my parenting and if I am making good decisions. Who isn't? There's no one out there giving out trophies for Moms and you don't get a grade card every quarter if your kids make it to school and eat every day! The unwritten code of conduct for motherhood performance is insane and reading this book is a breath of fresh air! Lamar's humorous take on pressures of perfection is almost like permission to exhale and give yourself a break! It's more important to be giving, kind and less than perfect than to be fake, judgmental and cliquey. If you roll your eyes when someone on Facebook posts perfect, magazine worthy pictures of homemade treats and cards for teachers, for no special reason, Lamar is "Your People!" RUN, don't walk!!

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Phillip Greenfield
It will help you laugh on days you want to cry
Reviewed in the United States on January 10, 2018
Loved it! Some days as a parent if you don’t laugh you will cry. This author helped me find the humor in challenging parenting situations and not feel alone. I read it twice!

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Deneale K Williams aka Deneale’s Book Buzz
As Featured in Deneale's Book Buzz!
Reviewed in the United States on October 13, 2014
Format: Kindle
Book Review: The White Trash Mom Handbook by: Michelle Lamar with Molly Wendland

Copyright Deneale K Williams,Previously Published on Yahoo Voices and Associated Content by Deneale K Williams,Michelle Lamar with Molly Wendland,White Trash Mom Handbook,Book Review

Book Review: The White Trash Mom Handbook

By: Michelle Lamar with Molly Wendland

Deneale K. Williams
As featured on the Yahoo Contributor Network and Associated Content when they were in existence and first published on: December 30, 2010

The White Trash Mom Handbook By: Michelle Lamar with Molly Wendland

I was at the book store the other day and checking out the clearance shelves for good book at a lower price and found this book for only a dollar. It caught my eye because I seen "white trash" on it. I looked at it, because I wanted to know what the Author considered "white trash." And since it was only a dollar, I decided I couldn't go wrong and bought it.

As soon as I brought the book home, I couldn't wait to read it. As a handbook for Mothers, I was sure it might be an even more interesting read!

In the beginning, the writer gives acknowledgements to darn near everyone in her life. People she applauds as "white trash," friends and family. She acknowledges everyone, and I am certain she managed to not leave out a soul! I was impressed to find someone who actually took out the time to acknowledge everyone, I always wondered if you could do that when you write a book. So this little introduction, impressed me.

Then comes her little preface to explain the purpose in her book. Ok, I am still interested and want to read, sort of. I mean some things she is mentioning already; I am rolling my eyes at- but you have to give the book a chance, and I can't just up and judge it just yet- that isn't fair.

Then I go on to read Chapter one. "Everyone has a little WT inside." By WT she is meaning "white trash". With the title, I do agree. You might not want to agree, but deep down, everyone has a little bit of "everything" in them. It just depends on "what" it takes to make "that" part of you come out!
Reading the Chapter, again I am rolling my eyes. The woman acts like she invented the buy cookies from the grocery store for the PTA bake sale and pretend you baked them routine. STOP! Think about this! How many television shows have you seen this on? This woman no way in heck invented this, and it is not something new to anyone. People who didn't know this- must be closet parents! But, I will move on and see what else there is to justify writing a book about.

This woman thinks the perfect parent skill requires that you be involved in PTA, or your child will have a rough life and will not be the "popular" child. Where ever does she get these ideas? Not every parent is involved in PTA, not every parent can do PTA and not every parent does PTA. Children do not judge because their parents are involved in PTA. The writer claims that it is in grade school where children are dependent upon the parents being involved in PTA. Grade school is where the children are actually learning, more so then in Junior High- where they are being beaten or bullied and judged by their clothing and popularity. Grade school is a lot less judgmental and children don't go around saying: "Ha! Ha! no one likes you because your Mom isn't in PTA!" If anything a child might be noticing the small things like, "Are your Mommy and Daddy still together? Because I don't know what I did but my Mommy and Daddy are getting-I forget the word-a break up, I think!" Grade School children are not the judgmental little heathens like Junior High School kids! So I don't know where this woman was raised, and where she is getting her ideas, but yes, I do beg to differ. And yes, I am entitled to my opinion, as are you.

According to the back of the book, Michelle Lamar has twenty five years of experience in the advertising business. She began blogging about "white trash mom's" and she has many followers on her web site www.whitetrashmom.com and it averages more then 3,500 unique visitors per week and counting, and her blog more then 25,000 readers per month. She also writes for Disney's Family.com and contributes to Celebitchy, which also has more than 2.5 million readers a month. But one thing you need to consider, just because she has followers, doesn't mean that every reader agrees with the woman. Not every hit is a positive one, and not every reader and follower has positive feedback all of the time. However, they do say, even bad publicity is good publicity. Maybe that's how Michelle see's it.

I also wanted to touch on Chapter twelve. "If the Health Department Isn't Coming, It's Clean Enough" Yeah-no. Let me remind you, people are judgmental. No matter who is coming, they are going to look around your house, and inspect it. Friends, family, even Child Services all judge you like the Health Inspectors that they are. And clean includes smells, make sure it even smells clean! But I would like to tell you, the reader, not to worry. If your friends and family can't accept you for whom and what you are, and the way you are, then maybe they aren't worth your time and efforts. But obviously this woman never had real experiences with back stabbing friends and family......

This writer has no clue what "white trash" or even "trailer trash" is. She obviously has never had bad friendships, with real, true life back-stabbers. She has never been burned at the stake by her own family members. So the moral to my "story" here is Michelle Lamar has some good tips within her little book, but she has absolutely no clue the definition of "white trash." And I was raised that you weren't allowed to use a word if you didn't know its proper definition. And I think her Parents must have forgotten to teach her that parental lesson, because she obviously missed it.

"White trash and Trailer trash" are people who "usually" put themselves before their Children. They will buy beer before their groceries. They are usually having children every nine months, and living off of the Welfare system, NOT working for a living! In Michelle's book, her definition of a "white trash Mom" she works for a living, is in the PTA and has a car, a home, and her utilities are on. Many "white trash and trailer trash people" don't always have their utilities on. Do you see what I mean about the difference between fact and fiction?

I am not trying to be judgmental; I have just SEEN many REAL-LIFE "White trash trailer Moms!" And her book of judging- is way off base. Some of her advice is good, but her judgments are wrong! I did however like the book, it was interesting, but I don't appreciate the labeling. She can say that she is labeling herself, and doesn't intend for it to be labeling, or even judging, but technically-it is and yes, she did.

At least I only paid ONE dollar for the book!!!! :-)

Someday I would like to interview these women! Find me at www.DenealesBookBuzz.BlogSpot.com!

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Elizabeth Thompson
White Trash Mom: She's less than perfect and she's okay.
Reviewed in the United States on April 14, 2009
Format: Paperback
Taken with a sense of humor, The White Trash Mom Handbook is a refreshing respite to anyone who's ever battled with baking from scratch, or felt guilty for not signing up for the class trip, or taken to screening your calls, even though you are a stay-at-home mom and probably could have arranged [cough, cough] to be available.

In my opinion, their message is clear - it's okay NOT to be perfect. Just strive to be an exceptionally good example of being human.

But, then again, I am a Professional Dork!

Liz Thompson, Owner
This Full House
This Full House Reviews

Contributing Writer
New Jersey Moms Blog
Imperfect Parent
Parent Bloggers Network

The White Trash Mom Handbook: Embrace Your Inner Trailerpark, Forget Perfection, Resist Assimilation into the PTA, Stay Sane, and Keep Your Sense of Humor

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The White Trash Mom Handbook: Embrace Your Inner Trailerpark, Forget Perfection, Resist Assimilation into the PTA, Stay Sane, and Keep Your Sense of Humor Paperback – Illustrated, August 5, 2008

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The White Trash Mom Handbook

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1.0 out of 5 stars Worst Book Ever

5.0 out of 5 stars Perfectly Imperfect

5.0 out of 5 stars RUN, don't walk!

5.0 out of 5 stars It will help you laugh on days you want to cry

5.0 out of 5 stars As Featured in Deneale's Book Buzz!

5.0 out of 5 stars White Trash Mom: She's less than perfect and she's okay.

Worst Book Ever

Perfectly Imperfect

RUN, don't walk!

It will help you laugh on days you want to cry

As Featured in Deneale's Book Buzz!

White Trash Mom: She's less than perfect and she's okay.