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The book pages are crisp, clean and unmarked. The binding is tight and in excellent condition. The book cover is in very good condition, but may show slight cosmetic defects. The book pages are crisp, clean and unmarked. The binding is tight and in excellent condition. The book cover is in very good condition, but may show slight cosmetic defects. See less
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Carl McColman
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Befriending Silence: Discovering the Gifts of Cistercian Spirituality Paperback – November 20, 2015

by Carl McColman (Author)
4.6 out of 5 stars 75 ratings
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Winner of the 2016 Georgia Author of the Year: Inspirational-religious books.

Respected speaker, author, and Patheos blogger Carl McColman introduces Cistercian spirituality as "the hidden jewel of the Church," presenting a surprisingly contemporary path grounded in monastic tradition. This accessible and comprehensive guide highlights a unique focus on simplicity, living close to the earth, and contemplative prayer, all of which make Cistercian spirituality relevant today.

Steeped in chant and silence, grounded in down-to-earth work and service, and immersed in the mystical wisdom of teachers ancient (Bernard of Clairvaux) and modern (Thomas Merton), Cistercian spirituality's beautifully humble path has for centuries made monasteries places of rest, retreat, and renewal. Now, Carl McColman offers the first practical introduction to this ancient, contemplative spirituality for all people.

Hailed by reviewers of his many books as playful, and profound, McColman draws on his experience as a lay Cistercian to provide insight into the relevance of the tradition to contemporary issues and spiritual practice. He explains how silence, simplicity, stability, stewardship of the earth, contemplation, ongoing conversion, and devotion to Mary combine to offer a rich and unique path to discipleship and intimacy with God.
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  1. Print length
    181 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Publisher
    Ave Maria Pr
  4. Publication date
    November 20, 2015
  5. Dimensions
    5.5 x 0.5 x 8.25 inches
  6. ISBN-10
    1594716153
  7. ISBN-13
    978-1594716157
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Editorial Reviews

Review

"Drawing on his personal experience and expansive knowledge, Carl McColman skillfully presents readers with an accessible introduction to the beauty of Cistercian spirituality. As the Rule of Benedict instructs, readers will be inspired to "listen carefully" to the wisdom of a tradition that continues to speak powerfully to women and men. Not only does Befriending Silence guide us in the gifts of Cistercian spirituality, but it's also a tremendous gift to all spiritual seekers!" --Rev. Daniel P. Horan, O.F.M., Author of The Franciscan Heart of Thomas Merton

"Carl McColman gives us a gentle, conversational, and humbly persuasive presentation of the spiritual benefits (and joys) of vowed and disciplined association with monastic life and practice for Christian lay folk. Himself a lay Cistercian, McColman speaks with quiet assurance about our human need to be ever more mindful of, and intentional about, our "God-hunger" and the holy yearning from which it comes. In doing so, he has added a practical as well as an informing volume to the literature of faith." --Phyllis Tickle, Founding Editor of the Religion Department of Publishers Weekly

"Befriending Silence is a great gift to all who hunger for meaning, mystery, peace, hope, and God. It takes wisdom from an important contemplative tradition and offers it to all. It is beautifully and humbly written; a joy on many levels." --Brian D. McLaren, Speaker and author of We Make the Road by Walking

"Befriending Silence is useful and stimulating to anyone who wishes to profit from the substantial wisdom of the Cistercian tradition." --Michael Casey, O.C.S.O., Cistercian monk and author of Seventy Four Tools for Good Living

"It's a pleasure to recommend Carl McColman's new book on Cistercian spirituality, Befriending Silence. It manifests in a wonderful way the Cistercian charism which today is shared by Lay Cistercians and also guides mature seekers." --Brother Patrick Hart, O.C.S.O., Former Secretary to Thomas Merton and Cistercian Monk

About the Author

Carl McColman is the author of The Big Book of Christian Mysticism and Answering the Contemplative Call, as well as a popular website and blog devoted to Christian and world mysticism. A Catholic in full-time ministry as a speaker and retreat leader, McColman is a professed member of the Lay Cistercians of Our Lady of the Holy Spirit.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Ave Maria Pr
  • Publication date ‏ : ‎ November 20, 2015
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Print length ‏ : ‎ 181 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1594716153
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1594716157
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 8 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.5 x 0.5 x 8.25 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.6 out of 5 stars 75 ratings

About the author

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Carl McColman

Carl McColman

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Carl McColman writes about contemplative spirituality from an inclusive, expansive perspective. His books explore Christian mysticism, Celtic wisdom, Neopaganism, the Divine Feminine, and interspirituality. The common thread is his optimistic faith that spiritual wisdom and practice leads to happier, more meaningful, and more compassionate lives.

Carl is a spiritual director, retreat leader, speaker and teacher on contemplative spirituality and practice. He is active online, connecting with readers through Substack, Patreon, and the Anamchara blog.

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4.6 out of 5 stars
75 global ratings

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Customers say

Customers find this book to be a wonderful primer on Cistercian spirituality, with readings for Lent that are spiritually encouraging. The book receives positive feedback for its readability and language, with one customer noting its carefully written overview.

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9 customers mention "Spirituality"9 positive0 negative

Customers find the book to be a wonderful primer on Cistercian spirituality, with readings for Lent being spiritually encouraging. They appreciate how it helps with spiritual growth, and one customer notes its balanced approach to contemplative prayer.

"...I can give Mr. McColman is that he does a wonderful job balancing both contemplative prayer and the importance of communal/liturgical prayer...." Read more

"...perfect comprehensive book for beginners and advanced readers on the topic of contemplative prayer...." Read more

"...is a kind treatment, one with affection and grace, that seeks to enlighten the reader to the joy of quietness in presence, the presence of God,..." Read more

"Excellent book on Cistercian spirituality, the author does a good job and describing the essentials of what the Cistercians do." Read more

5 customers mention "Reading quality"5 positive0 negative

Customers find the book to be a good read.

"This is a good read." Read more

"good reading" Read more

"A good, clear exposition of the Cistercian charism." Read more

"Understandable and interesting...." Read more

3 customers mention "Language"3 positive0 negative

Customers appreciate the language of the book, with one noting its carefully written overview and another highlighting its conversational tone.

"...He shows us, through a carefully written overview, the reasons why a person would seek to become a monk, in particular, a Cistercian monk...." Read more

"Well written with clarity and spiritual depth!" Read more

"Understandable and interesting...." Read more

Top reviews from the United States

  • Timothy McCormick
    5.0 out of 5 stars Wonderful Primer on Cistercian Spirituality
    Reviewed in the United States on November 28, 2015
    Verified Purchase
    Having devoured his previous two books, I was very eager to read Befriending Silence. It was not a disappointment. Like his previous books on mysticism, McColman continues to instruct in the mystical tradition. This time, he relies on the great Cistercian monks of the past and present, most notably St. Bernard and Thomas Merton. One of the best compliments I can give Mr. McColman is that he does a wonderful job balancing both contemplative prayer and the importance of communal/liturgical prayer. This is, of course, one of the great strengths of Cistercian spirituality. (Often, I feel, that some of the contemporary contemplative authors I read seem to downplay the importance of liturgical prayer.) The book concludes with a look at "perseverance" which is something I am always in need of improving upon. Here, McColman reminds us that the paradox of perseverance is that "we remain faithful to God, to prayer, to trying to make our lives better and holier because we hope to grow in grace and also because in some ways we will always be a mess." Amen to that! I will refer back to this text often and will recommend it to my family and friends. I only wish I lived close to a Cistercian monastery!
    16 people found this helpful
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  • Dr.Al
    5.0 out of 5 stars Understandable and interesting.
    Reviewed in the United States on June 11, 2016
    Verified Purchase
    The perfect comprehensive book for beginners and advanced readers on the topic of contemplative prayer. I found it especially helpful for my Eucharistic Adoration in Sacred Silence.
    3 people found this helpful
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  • Sis
    4.0 out of 5 stars Four Stars
    Reviewed in the United States on July 15, 2016
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    This is a good read.
    One person found this helpful
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  • Norma L. Brumbaugh
    5.0 out of 5 stars A Sweet Treatment of a Rewarding Practice
    Reviewed in the United States on February 25, 2016
    Verified Purchase
    Befriending Silence takes us in the back door and then into the life of Cistercial spirituality. As a lay Cistercian, the author writes this book in conversational language without losing the beauty of the practice of silence. He shows us, through a carefully written overview, the reasons why a person would seek to become a monk, in particular, a Cistercian monk. This is a kind treatment, one with affection and grace, that seeks to enlighten the reader to the joy of quietness in presence, the presence of God, where words are not required and openness to God is rich and meaningful.
    I am not of the liturgical community, but I have found the richness of what McCollman speaks. There is much to be gained when one follows a spirituality of contemplation, where we listen and tune our focus and personhood to this ancient practice. I appreciate the fair treatment and information given. A few questions of mine were answered through the reading of this book. I love the title!
    9 people found this helpful
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  • jason brown
    3.0 out of 5 stars Too focused on the Author's personal theology
    Reviewed in the United States on August 18, 2022
    Verified Purchase
    Seems to stray a bit too far from actual Cistercian ideas, history and theology. Mostly a personal musing, which has its place, but feels a bit off topic from the title. Cheers
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  • anthony
    5.0 out of 5 stars Book review/contemplative silence
    Reviewed in the United States on January 25, 2019
    Verified Purchase
    Excellent book on Cistercian spirituality, the author does a good job and describing the essentials of what the Cistercians do.
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  • Nico Vela
    5.0 out of 5 stars An interesting read
    Reviewed in the United States on May 17, 2019
    Verified Purchase
    An interesting read on Cistercian Spirituality and how it can be used for personal reasons.
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  • CreamintheCoffee
    5.0 out of 5 stars Cistercian spirituality at its best!
    Reviewed in the United States on December 15, 2017
    Verified Purchase
    Really bought into Cistercian spirituality with my first reading of Thomas Merton in 1974! This book helps me understand why that call still beckons me after all these years!
    One person found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

  • Anthony H
    5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
    Reviewed in the United Kingdom on October 27, 2017
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    Beautifully written and an inspiration
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  • Rosemary Oxenham
    4.0 out of 5 stars Four Stars
    Reviewed in Canada on March 5, 2018
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    Very thought provoking.
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  • William
    5.0 out of 5 stars This is an excellent book, especially in this age of noise, TV, radio, mobile phones etc.
    Reviewed in Spain on February 6, 2016
    Verified Purchase
    I don't speak Spanish. This is an excellent book, especially in this age of noise, TV, radio, mobile phones etc.
    Report