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The Smart Couple's Guide to the Wedding of Your Dreams: Planning Together for Less Stress and More Joy Paperback – November 4, 2005

4.0 out of 5 stars 16 ratings

AMAZON BESTSELLEREach year, millions of couples wed, and millions of relationships -- brides, grooms, families, and friends -- are undermined by power struggles, fights, and stress before the big event arrives. Often overrun by others' demands, couples may be too exhausted to experience the outpouring of love meant for them. Now savvy brides and grooms can turn to The Smart Couple's Guide to the Wedding of Your Dreams. It encourages couples to explore their wedding desires, be realistic about budgets, and be firm in their decisions, and it walks them through practical steps to make these goals a reality. Co-written by two therapists, themselves a happily married team, the book emphasizes recapturing the meaning and joy of the occasion while making informed choices together. Each chapter provides exercises and suggestions to help with specific decisions on vows, location, parents' roles, and more, ultimately showing couples how to express their style while honoring family and religious traditions. These decision-making skills also help establish precedent for a long and happy marriage.
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Editorial Reviews

From the Inside Flap

"This is the perfect pre-wedding gift for a couple planning an event that should be a source of joy and excitement, but is often a source of stress, anxiety, frustration, and even rage. Filled with practical and inspiring suggestions for creating a wedding celebration that joyfully expresses the souls of the two participants, this guide infuses its subject with psychological realism and a subtle tone of unsentimental spirituality." - Nathaniel Branden, PhD, author of The Art of Living Consciously

From 'Popping the Questions' to 'The Honeymoon' and everything in between,
this book covers it all! It arrived just in time for our son and future daughter-in-law to plan the wedding of their dreams!" - Charlie Bloom, co-author of 101 Things I Wish I Knew When I Got Married

"I read the book in one sitting. When I finished, I jumped in my car to take it to my son's house, so he and his fiancée wouldn't go one more day of their wedding planning without this
heart-felt, practical guide." - Linda Bloom, co-author of 101 Things I Wish I Knew When I Got Married

"This book is a joy to read from cover to cover.
Every bride AND groom needs to read it so they can enjoy planning their wedding while also building the basis for the success of their future marriage." - Susan Jeffers, PhD, author of Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway and The Feel the Fear Guide to Lasting Love

"This is
a beautiful and sensible book. Drs. Judith and Jim have outlined a remarkable blueprint that will save couples a lot of time and money. The spiritual principles will help them to create deeper intimacy as they transition from 'twoness' to 'oneness.'" - Dr. Grace Cornish, bestselling author of The Sacred Bond: 7 Spiritual Truths to Recognize and Marry Your Very Own Soul Mate, Drcornish.com

"This practical, helpful book
guides couples through perhaps the most important event of their lives to date, and makes the experience more joyful then imagined." - Brian Tracy, author of Your Own Future

"This absolutely great book is a
fascinating, readable, and wise blend of romance and practicality! Judith and Jim give just the right guidance and support for couples planning a marriage - or for that matter - planning a life together. From the earliest considerations of engagement to the end of the honeymoon, this book is an amazing gift to those couples who want to make their marriage and their lives reflect their souls." - Sidra Stone, PhD, and Hal Stone, PhD, co-creators of Voice Dialogue and authors of Partnering: A New Kind of Relationship and Embracing Our Selves

"
Practical, prescient, precious. Judith and Jim have created a wedding masterpiece!" - Pat Love, EdD, author, The Truth about Love

"Utilizing real couples' stories and their own rich experiences, Judith and Jim brilliantly lead you through the rocky terrain of getting married;
from pre-engagement considerations to the wedding day and beyond. Throughout, they act as the little voice in your head gently urging you to be true to yourself by planning a ceremony that will genuinely reflect the bond between you and your beloved. I will, without hesitation, recommend this book to all my nervous brides-to-be." -Farah Husain, bridal makeup artist

"The wedding market is flooded with 'how to' books - planners that all say essentially the same thing. Finally, here is
a new, different, and interesting approach. This is a book for the modern couple, reflecting a growing trend for the groom's involvement. It recognizes that wedding planning today can be - should be - the beginning of a life together." - Gerard J. Monaghan, president, Association of Bridal Consultants

"Too often, men are encouraged to leave the wedding planning to their fiancées - with the result that their weddings and their marriages suffer. From a refreshing and very inspiring point of view, Judith and Jim reveal
why it's essential for the bride and groom to plan their wedding together. This book establishes the template for weddings of the future." - Melissa Wilt, public policy analyst, Men's Health Network, Washington, DC

"As a wedding gown designer whose main concern is that the bride receive maximum value, I applaud Judith and Jim's
practical, enthusiastic guide showing the wedding couple how to maximize the value and meaning of every aspect of their journey into marriage. This is a must read for every bride and groom and all the people who love them." - Madeline Gardner, designer of bridal gowns, Mori Lee LLC

"In my nineteen years as a wedding photographer, I've seen too many brides miss out on the spiritual and romantic magic that a wedding should be about. So, I am thrilled to recommend this book because it can rescue all future brides from making the same mistake.
This book is destined to become the bible for creating truly fabulous and deeply meaningful weddings." - Wilson Pinilla, president and CEO, Pinilla Photography and Video Inc.

"This book is hard to put down! Filled with invaluable information, it's
everything a couple needs to plan their wedding and their life together." -Richard Markel, president, Association for Wedding Professionals International and founder, Bridal Show Producers International

"If only one person makes all of the decisions about the wedding, it stands to reason that that person will be burdened with making most of the decisions in the marriage.
Judith and Jim give couples the tools to discover what matters most to them for their ceremony and its various celebrations opening the door to rich communication, which is the basis for a strong marriage." - Julia Markel, vice-president, Association for Wedding Professionals International

About the Author

Best known as Judith & Jim - we're husband-and-wife psychology team Judith Sherven, PhD and Jim Sniechowski, PhD - best selling authors of six books, including our latest WhatReallyKilledWhitneyHouston.com in which we help our readers understand how the power of unconscious forces drive much of what we do and what holds us back. We are passionate champions for your freedom to live a truly free and fabulous life in any way you desire. 

Internationally famous for our ability to dig deep into the heart of what holds people back while providing the recipe for permanent release from that internal prison, we have created a blueprint for learning about the power of Unconscious Allegiances and Forbiddances. Since most people cannot access our private consultation and coaching, we've produced our "Overcoming the Fear of Being Fabulous(tm)" program to enable the user to shatter the blindness that holds people back, guiding them through the necessary steps to releasing their hold backs and roadblocks to successful living and loving. OvercomingTheFearOfBeingFabulous.com 

At this time, we are executive coaches and leadership trainers and consultants to a variety of businesses and corporations including being on retainer to LinkedIn. 

As guest experts we've been on over 2700 television and radio shows including Oprah, The View, 48 Hours, CNN, and Canada AM. And we've been interviewed or published by hundreds of major publications including the Los Angeles Times, Chicago Tribune, USA Today, Boston Globe, Wall Street Journal, O, Cosmo, Bridal Guide, Redbook, Playboy, Essence, Women's Day, Family Circle, Parents, Brides, Men's Health, Best Life, and Today's Black Woman.

Meeting on a blind date March 7, 1987, they married 13 months later, and currently live in Northern California.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ New World Library
  • Publication date ‏ : ‎ November 4, 2005
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Print length ‏ : ‎ 231 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1577313410
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1577313410
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 9.6 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.75 x 1 x 8.75 inches
  • Customer Reviews:
    4.0 out of 5 stars 16 ratings

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Top reviews from the United States

  • Reviewed in the United States on November 9, 2006
    I'm in my 40s and getting married for the first--and only--time in a few months. My fiance was feeling a little left out of the planning process, so I bought 2 copies of this book, one for him and one for myself. It's been a great discussion tool, and we've both made lots of notes all over the pages. The book covers the details of wedding planning but with a focus on keeping the relationship and the meaning of the celebration central. No matter what other planning guides you own -- and you will need others that do go bananas over flowers and bridesmaids' dresses if that's your thing, and God knows there are plenty of them out there-- please pick up a copy, or two, of this one. It lets you convert the stress and commericalism of planning your wedding into a relationship-deepening experience.
    16 people found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on October 27, 2011
    I purchased this book as part of my "wedding planning book binge," and while it raises some valid points, I also felt like some of it was overbearing. The suggestions for discussions of finances and whether or not a woman should change her name was thought provoking. However, sometimes the authors' own views overwhelm a person's ability to design their own wedding to suit them. For instance, the author describes the silly tradition of feeding each other cake (occasionally forcefully) as "abusive" and makes a blanket statement that it shouldn't be done. Also, they seem to have the position that they had a relatively ideal wedding, though it isn't one-size-fits all. Not a bad purchase, but not my favorite text.
    One person found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on January 30, 2010
    This book is extremely specific when it comes to planning. I assumed it would be largely focused on the couple and how to reduce stress, but it actually provided real ideas for planning as well. I read it in two days and will most likely go back and keep referencing it throughout my planning process.
    One person found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on July 8, 2010
    I am engaged and reading everything I can about wedding planning. Your book, The Smart Couples Guide to the Wedding of Your Dreams is the best I have found--hands down! In fact, I am reading it for the second time in 6 months. I can always learn something new with each reading. I love the fact that, in this book, there is lots of focus on preparing for marriage. Judith and Jim do a clever job of weaving the wedding planning into the importance of thinking ahead to the marriage itself. It's refreshing to see after all the books that deal with wedding plans only. Very thoughtfully and lovingly written and I will go back to it often as I get ready for my own wedding.
  • Reviewed in the United States on August 9, 2008
    This was not the book for me. Although I could see other readers enjoying it, I did not find the book very practical. Nor did I agree with some of the suggestions. For instance, I felt that the writers glossed over the concept of wedding favors. They advised not to do them. I would have preferred suggestions on different types of favors that are cost-effective.

    It's not a bad book but I did not find it very useful for my needs. I am leaning towards a more traditional wedding and I needed help on details concerning planning. I preferred Joyce Scardina Becker's "Countdown to Your Personal Wedding". Her book is a different type, however, more oriented towards planning and instructions on how to go about wedding planning and information on procedures (i.e what items a seamstress should be looking at during wedding dress fittings).

    If you get the Smart Couple's Guide to...I advise that you also buy a book that is geared towards the details of planning a wedding. Unless you are an extremely organized and knowledgeable person when it comes to weddings. As interesting as it is to read, I wouldn't go it alone with the Smart Couple's Guide. I appreciated Ms. Becker's expertise in wedding planning and organization and turned to it more than I turned to the Smart Couple's Guide. I do reiterate that they are two different types of books. I hope that helps.
    5 people found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on October 23, 2013
    This was an incredible book. Kept us grounded in our own vision of our relationship and the wedding celebration. Have gifted this to two other engaged couples and they tend to agree! It can get a bit saccharine at points, but overall THE BEST book I read in preparation for my wedding ceremony and reception.
    One person found this helpful
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  • Reviewed in the United States on December 5, 2013
    A wonderful way to plan for what you truly want for your special day not what others think you should have. I gave this to my niece for her wedding.
  • Reviewed in the United States on October 24, 2014
    This was the best wedding-planning book we looked at.