The Triangle

Issue date: 8/19/05 Section: Sci-Tech

Media Credit: The Triangle Sakulich

Let's face it: most people are a bunch of jerks. They drink the last of your beer, they make out with your underage sister, and I think we can all agree that they deserve to have their drivers' licenses revoked. However, a small group of people have reached such a level of jerk-ness, performed an act of such incomprehensible assholery, that they deserve to have a colossal monument built to them. I'm speaking of, and I commend from the bottom of my heart, the Stormville Flyers.

These incredible aviators were the cause of one of the biggest UFO hoaxes in history, spawning a story that has grown beyond their control, itself gestating spin-offs, copycats, and a brood of paranormal children.

Hudson Valley, New York is just a stone's throw from New York City, Philadelphia's smarter, richer, more stylish, and stronger older brother. In 1983 and 1984, Hudson Valley's residents became deep-fried in an oil made of mystery when gigantic spaceships began taking to their skies.

Like all UFO reports, each eyewitness seems to have seen something different. Generally, the craft were described as being enormous ("3 football fields in length!"), covered in lights, and moving slowly, with little sound.

Sometimes the UFO was described as semi-circular, triangular, V-shaped, or boomerang shaped. The lights were most often reported to be red, white, or green, and they sometimes changed color in unison or disappeared simultaneously. Witnesses sometimes said that the lights were acting independently, that the lights were all attached to one enormous, solid craft, or that they could see stars between the lights, indicating several smaller craft. Sometimes witness reported that the craft moved in absolute silence, and some reported a dull buzzing sound.

Some of you reading this are, I'm sure, terrified, but worry not: gigantic alien spaceships are not roaming the skies of New England. Go back to using your tinfoil for luncheon meats, not helmets. The 'UFO sightings' were the results of that group of glorious airmen, The Stormville Flyers. They owned ultralight aircraft that they had modified with some fancy lights, and their boredom and willingness to dupe the locals is the sole cause of this case.

Flying in formation, using controls inside the cockpit to change the colors of the lights or to switch them all off (making it look as though the craft had mysteriously disappeared), and using the public's gullibility and the inevitable UFO hysteria that follows any sighting, they were able to convince the public that people from outer space had decided to cruise the area.

Continued...

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