Showing posts sorted by relevance for query porn prevention. Sort by date Show all posts
Showing posts sorted by relevance for query porn prevention. Sort by date Show all posts

August 22, 2012

PORN PREVENTION & RECOVERY RESOURCES (updated August 2017)



So what's so bad about porn?

It's an ADDICTION. DO NOT GET STARTED WITH PORN. You are not stronger than porn. You can't just dabble. It's NOT mind over matter. We are not wired that way.

DO NOT GET STARTED WITH PORN. You will not be able to stop. You will need bigger and bigger thrills. It will take up all your time and attention. You will lose interest in everything else.

PORN IS MORE ADDICTIVE THAN CRACK COCAINE because the body gets addicted to its own chemicals.

DO NOT GET STARTED WITH PORN.


Persons--who are the sacred image of God--can never be used.

Even if they want to be.

This includes the porn-user who uses their own body as they use porn. (So even if the IMAGES are CGI, the porn user is using their own body.)

The opposite of love is not hate. It is use: using persons as things, as means to an end. Using persons is against human dignity.

The body is for total, committed, real, true love and relationship.

Porn, plain and simple, is an addiction that destroys true love, and/or makes it impossible. Divorce lawyers are citing it as one of the major factors in more and more break-ups.

Porn also destroys real sex (does not "add spice") because the porn user conditions themselves to respond to images, not real persons. (Addictions never enhance anything anyway, they only detract, distract, damage and destroy.)

Sex (of whatever kind) outside of the marriage relationship is ADDICTIVE (bigger and bigger thrills are needed). Sex within the marriage relationship is BONDING, person to person (and satisfying because sex is about much more than only pleasure within the marriage bond. The human person has the capacity for Infinity within themselves, and male/female committed to each other in true love and true sex, can experience something of the Infinite).

Just like any other addiction, you will never be "cured." You will be in "recovery" for the rest of your life and have to be very careful about all your media use, memory, imagination, what you do with your eyes on a minute-to-minute basis. 

DO NOT GET STARTED WITH PORN. No one PLANS on getting addicted. Porn addicts say: "If only I had KNOWN this was an addiction, I would never have gotten started." Well, now you know. 

Remember, the two hallmarks of addicts are 1) DENIAL  2) DON'T TOUCH MY ADDICTION.

FIRST STEPS FOR PREVENTION: 

--Theology of the Body www.tinyurl.com/bestTOBresources

--www.PornKillsLove.com, www.FightTheNewDrug.com (hipster sites)

--www.ReclaimSexualHealth.com (free, anonymous online counseling based on the latest brain science, sponsored by the Diocese of Green Bay, WI--based on the secular www.candeobehaviorchange.com website) Lots of information on this site to get started.

--www.IntegrityRestored.com

--ThePornEffect.com (Matt Fradd) Tweet: #freebattleplan for a free e-book! 

--Tabor Life Institute http://www.taborlife.org/ Trains men how to "see" women properly. Teaches everyone how to "see" the human body properly. (Fr. Thomas Loya's institute) 

--"The Interior Gaze: A Remedy for 'Pornovision' and Lust" DVD (Fr. Thomas Loya) http://www.theologyofthebody.net/

FIRST STEPS FOR THE ADDICTED
--http://ReclaimSexualHealth.com/ (Catholic, based on the latest science and secular site: http://www.CandeoBehaviorChange.com )

--Sexaholics Anonymous www.sa.org (or a Catholic therapist). SA is also for porn addictions. They use 12 steps and words like "sober."

--Anonymous online-help to retrain the porn-user to use internet well: http://www.CandeoBehaviorChange.com/

GROUPS FOR MEN TO JOIN TO BE ACCOUNTABLE, FIGHT PORN, HELP OTHER MEN:

--www.thekingsmen.us (Catholic)

--www.dads.org (Catholic) 


--www.PornMilitia.blogspot.com  P.erpetually O.ffering R.osaries N.ightly    Twitter: @pornmilitia 

WOMEN USING PORN IS ON THE RISE:
--Vid of young woman explaining how she got started: http://www.pornfreedomnow.com/2012/07/why-young-women-are-now-being-drawn-to.html

--"What I Wish I Knew Before I Started Using Porn"  (from a woman who works in Hollywood)

--Audrey Assad's journey from porn use to freedom: (AUDIO) http://www.theporneffect.com/blog/posts/audrey-assad-s-amazing-talk-for-women-on-porn-addiction

--My review of "Magic Mike": http://hellburns.blogspot.com/2012/07/movies-magic-mike.html#.UEpgELJlQes

USING ADULT PORN CAN LEAD TO VIEWING CHILD PORN (EVEN FOR NON-PEDOPHILES):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5VOr8cbGdx4&list=PL5148AAD9AD668621&index=7&feature=plpp_video

CHILDREN ARE NEWEST CATEGORY OF ADDICTS:
--
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2131799/Children-grow-addicted-online-porn-sites-Third-10-year-olds-seen-explicit-images.html

--Kid shares how he overcame porn use: https://www.lifesitenews.com/news/12-year-old-shares-how-he-got-addicted-to-porn-at-9-and-how-he-got-over-it

--Great porn-fighting tips e-newsletter for parents/grandparents www.protectyoungminds.org

BOOK TO HELP PORN-PROOF KIDS:
--Book to read with kids: "Good Pictures, Bad Pictures" https://www.amazon.ca/Good-Pictures-Bad-Porn-Proofing-Todays/dp/0615927335

C-Close my eyes immediately
A-Always tell a trusted adult
N-Name it when I see it

D-Distract myself
O-Order my thinking brain to be the boss! (the boss of my feeling brain)

THE HORRIBLE EFFECTS OF PORN ON CHILDREN:

--http://www.netnanny.com/learn_center/article/144


PORN FILTERS: 
--You need a company that installs it from cyberspace, not you, so no one in your family can change it. Geeks must install custom-made filters for each other because they can easily hack these filters. (I was told this by a geek.)

--www.software4parents.com (collection of ALL different types of safe software for families to choose from) 

--www.besafeonline.com 


--www.covenanteyes.com

--www.xxxchurch.com (This is a very funky, youth-oriented, activist website.) The company emails questionable sites you've surfed (on a particular computer) to an accountable buddy (or girlfriend or spouse) (Christian) 


--www.safeeyes.com (for Mac or PC) 


--www.bsecure.com 


--www.netnanny.com


SEXTING:

http://www.commonsensemedia.org/talking-about-sexting GREAT VIDEO ON WEBSITE

http://www.kysafeschools.org/sexting.html

In-depth NYTimes article about youth and SEXTING. Cases, laws, repercussions - 

DVDs:
 

--"Somebody's Daughter"--2008, testimonies of men in recovery (Christians). Doesn't give much advice or any resources, but is a portrait of porn addiction from the inside out. Includes a pastor and a couple. Very moving. Since they're not Catholic, they don't have the full, beautiful vision of sexuality and Theology of the Body, but it's still a must see. Includes two powerful music videos and some dramatizations. DVD jacket includes the "25 Lies of Pornography" http://www.somebodysdaughter.org/ 

--"The Interior Gaze--A Remedy for Pornovision and Lust"--Byzantine Catholic priest and artist, Fr. Thomas Loya, demonstrates through design and art how to "see" the beauty of the human body as God intended. http://www.theologyofthebody.net/ 


--"Out of the Darkness" 4 in-depth interviews with a former porn star, a former porn addict, a psychologist and an Alfred Kinsey expert. Excellent! (2011) www.anteroompictures.com

--"Face the Darkness, Illuminate the Night," brand new, comprehensive DVD series on porn. Includes interviews with Christopher West. http://www.theologyofthebody.net/ (Not completed yet!)

--"Fireproof"--drama about a fireman whose marriage is on the rocks, partly because of his internet porn use. 


--DVDs for teens: "The Pure Life" by Jason and Crystalina Evert. This series aired on EWTN. NOT hokey, totally fast-paced, in-your-face, relevant, comprehensive. Teen panel. Covers porn, dating, dress, what teens really want, Theology of the Body, media, etc., etc. EXCELLENT! (Also, just check YouTube channel: "jasonevert"


CDs: 
--"Detox" Jason Evert https://www.lighthousecatholicmedia.org/store/title/detox

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SPxlDPQYSag (Jason Evert on porn)

--"The Pornography Plague and the Path to Christian Purity," Jeff Cavins http://www.ascensionpress.com/ (Catholic) 

--"Cybersex and the Priesthood--Sex, Shame, Addiction," Fr. Stephen Rossetti, PhD, D. Min. http://www.albahouse.org/ (Catholic)

--"Winning the Battle for Sexual Purity," (talk to men) Christopher West (also on DVD). http://www.christopherwest.com/ (Catholic)

BOOKS:

The best, most complete book on porn you'll every read. Busts 24 myths about porn.
Loaded with a bazillion stats and studies.

This book is a must-read for every human being on the planet. The beauty of it is that it doesn't start with or dwell on porn, even. It backs it up to the most basic level of eyes/mind. Written by Evangelical men who struggled with purity issues of all kinds, it's the most practical, down-to-earth, detailed step-by-step battle plan for victory. Chockful of stories and examples.
Women who don't believe that men are actually biologically wired visually and wired differently sexually desperately need to read this book. Women who don't understand how male sexuality works need to read this book.
Women and wives also have their say in this book. Men never blame women in this book. You must read the book to the END to get the full vision of men and women together. The last section (right before the workbook at the end for use in men's groups) is one of the most beautiful descriptions of what marriage is supposed to be (from a man's perspective: the duties of husbands towards wives). This is Theology of the Body at its most helpful.

--"Delivered"--stories of men and women who overcame porn, by Matt Fradd http://mattfradddelivered.com/

--"Cleansed"--life after porn by Texas A&M University campus minister, Marcel LeJeune

--"Drug of the New Millennium--The Brain Science Behind Internet Pornography Use" by Mark Kastleman

--"I Surrender All--Rebuilding a Marriage Broken by Pornography"--Christian singer, Clay Crosse, and his wife Renee's story
 


--"The Courage to Be Chaste," by Fr. Groeschel, CFR. A modern classic. Lots of practical tips. 


--"Clean of Heart, Overcoming Habitual Sins Against Purity," by Rosemarie Scott (Forward by Fr. John Harvey, OSFS, founder of Courage) 


--"True Knights: Christian Husbands, Father and Sons," by Kenneth Henderson and Jesse Romero 


--"Porn Nation," sad but true story of how one man had it all and lost it all through internet porn when the internet was brand new. (Author has been on "Oprah," and debates against pro-porn advocates on college campuses.) Scary predictions for future.


--"The Hook and I" by David Cannan. Catholic 12 Steps for porn (a friend of mine in recovery swears by this book)

THERAPISTS/COUNSELORS:
--http://www.maritalhealing.com/ (Catholic) http://www.zenit.org/article-29697?l=english What To Do About Porn--Part I" article from Zenit.org and MaritalHealing.com on step-by-step what to do about porn if husband addicted. Also some current stats. 2010) 

--Dr. Philip Mango (NYC) st_michael@verizon.net Dr. Phil Mango is a licensed Catholic psychotherapist from New York, director of St. Michael's Institute for the Psychological Sciences; founder of Warrior Brothers- focused on leadership and manhood development for service to family, Church and society; and visiting professor at the John Paul II Institute for Studies on Marriage and Family. For more than 12 years, he served as mental health consultant for Mother Teresa's work with the poor. Dr. Mango combines John Paul II's theology of the body with psychology to effectively minister to men and women seeking to overcoming sexual and pornographic addictions and develop healthy relationships with the opposite sex. He has extensive experience treating PTSD with the most effective treatment known, EMDR- Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. Areas of Expertise: PTSD, post-abortive, marital healing, masculine spirituality, psychology of the sexes, founder of www.warriorbrothers.org. Available to speak at your parish or event.

--Fr. Thomas Loya (Chicago) http://www.taborlife.org/



--SOAR0136@aol.com "Seeing One Another Rightly"--This group uses Sexaholics Anonymous 12 Step Principles combined with Theology of the Body. Blog: www.SeeingOneAnotherRightly.wordpress.com

WEBSITES:

--www.pornharms.com All the facts and stats.

--www.ReclaimSexualHealth.com Free and confidential help for all sexual addictions (help for family members, those in ministry, etc.). Sponsored by Diocese of Green Bay, WI and based on the latest brain science from www.CandeoBehaviorChange.com 

--www.FightTheNewDrug.com  Young adult website. Swag and merch available.

--www.ThePornEffect.com

--www.freedomfrompornnow.com Lots of helpful, short, shareable articles and vids!

--http://www.faithfulandtrueministries.com/ 

- -www.diocese-kcsj.org/myhousekcsj 


--www.demandyourdignity.com ("Don't Believe the Lies" video by guys in a LifeTeen group in Rhode Island. Very moving!)


INTERNET PRAYER


Dear God, I ask Your help divine
whenever I must go online.
I tell myself that I love "art,"
their sculpted forms, my heavy heart.

As I get lost in cyberspace
and go from face to nameless face,
behind each image, there's a life,
there's someone's husband, someone's wife.

Perhaps a son or daughter, too,
God, if their families only knew
As I'm drawn in to search the net,
it's all too easy to forget

the way my actions take their toll--
they slowly work to kill my soul.
Its essence surely must erode
with every image I download.

Please rescue me from what I do.
Please help me want to stop it, too.
Obsession lifted, I'll stand free,
surrendering my will to Thee.

--written by a Catholic woman in recovery from the S/m lifestyle




PLEASE ALSO SEE "COMMENTS" ON THIS POST FOR MORE RESOURCES.


February 22, 2016

DIGITAL GENERATION RESOURCES


“DIGITAL GENERATION” RESOURCES


Read this first! Collier & Magid’s “Online Safety 3.0: A Refreshing Approach to Internet Safety”www.tinyurl.com/OnlineSafety3-0 (Link is just the intro. Be sure to click thru to 8-page manifesto! The best thing you’ll read on Internet Safety! Digital Citizenship!)

Also: the Common Sense Media Summer 2012 Study of How Teens View Their Digital Lives www.tinyurl.com/TeensDigitalLives

SOFTWARE FILTERS & MONITORS:

www.software4parents.com (a collection of various software options for your computer) Includes NET NANNY MOBILE (for phones and eBLASTER MOBILE for Android) LET KIDS KNOW WHEN SOFTWARE INSTALLED & HOW IT WORKS! DON’T SPY! (The best sofware is installed online, not by consumer, so can’t be disabled by consumer or kids) Call cell phone service provider for filter options on phones. Also: www.covenanteyes.com       www.safekids.com   www.safeteens.com  (great, simple ideas for parents and youth themselves, includes “Family Contract for Online Safety” that both kids and parents sign)
www.clearplay.com With studios' permission, bad language, etc., is excised out of DVDs and streaming so whole fam can watch!


PORN-PROOFING TODAY'S YOUNG KIDS:
Book to read with kids: "Good Pictures, Bad Pictures" https://www.amazon.ca/Good-Pictures-Bad-Porn-Proofing-Todays/dp/0615927335

C-Close my eyes immediately
A-Always tell a trusted adult
N-Name it when I see it

D-Distract myself
O-Order my thinking brain to be the boss! (the boss of my feeling brain)

CATHOLIC/CHRISTIAN BOOKS:
 "Connected Toward Communion: The Church and Social Communication in the Digital Age" Zsupan-Jerome, "The Church and New Media" Vogt, "The Social Media Gospel" Gould

SECULAR BOOKS:
“Talking Back to Facebook” by James Steyer, founder of www.commonsensemedia.org, “Alone Together: Why We Expect More from Technology & Less from Each Other” by MIT’s Shirley Turkle, “Virtually You: Dangers of the E-Personality” Elias Aboujaoude,
“Price of Privilege: How Parental Pressure & Material Advantage Are Creating a Generation of Disconnected & Unhappy Kids” & “Teach Your Children Well: Parenting for Authentic Success” by Dr. Madeline Levine

www.vatican.va  Must-read Vatican documents on media: “Dawn of a New Era,” “Rapid Development” (JP2). Also read the recent, short addresses by the popes for "World Communications Day" at www.vatican.va

MEDIA LITERACY ORGANIZATIONS/CONFERENCES/TRAINING/CURRICULUM:



Tom and Kari Curran have videos, webinars and a parents Facebook group
which teaches you how to "parent the media" from soup to nuts!
(When to give your kids tech, rights & responsibilities of tech,
how to train them in using it well, monitoring, etc.)












 




















--media.pauline.org = Pauline Center for Media Studies of the Daughters of St. Paul: speakers available!
ML 
certification for catechists & teachers, www.SQPN.com (Catholic new media leaders, yearly conference), www.medialit.org (Center for Media Literacy), www.NAMLE.net  (Nat’l Ass’n for Media Literacy Education—formerly AMLA), www.NAMLEmarketplace.org (all kinds of curriculum), www.frankWbaker.com  (sign up for his listserv and get the latest on media literacy daily—about 5 emails a day), www.catholicvideogamers.blogspot.com (for teens and parents, written by Chicago seminarians and friends), www.connectsafely.org, www.sheriffs.org (click on “Safe Surfin’ Foundation” for free CDs with videos/files/.pdfs/tests for kids, teens, parents/communities), www.fbi.gov also has internet safety info (but only about predators, not comprehensive), www.pope2you.net (Youtube, Facebook, iphone), www.xt3.com (worldwide social networking pope uses), www.commonsense.com (rating for and by parents for all things media) www.PluggedIn.com (Focus on the Family=ALL things youth & media!) www.MasterMediaIntl.org (get a monthly prayer calendar to pray for who's who in media!)

NEWS LITERACY: www.CenterforNewsLiteracy.org,   www.TheNewsLiteracyProject.org

PORN PREVENTION AND RECOVERY RESOURCES:
www.ReclaimSexualHealth.com(Catholic)&www.candeocan.com(secular)(confidential sites w/information, accountability & online help) www.PornKillsLove.com (young, hip website with counseling programs) Comprehensive resources: www.tinyurl.com/PornPreventionResources (includes recovery)

THEOLOGY OF THE BODY (also for teens): 

Comprehensive: www.tinyurl.com/TOBresources
YOUTUBE: JasonEvert channel, www.WomenMadeNew.com , www.pauline.org, www.ascensionpress.com www.christopherwest.com TOB  CDs/DVDs,  www.theologyofthebody.net “The Interior Gaze: Remedy for Pornovision and Lust DVD,” Fr. Thomas Loya www.taborlife.org , “Out of the Darkness” DVD (interview w former porn star turned Christian & others) from www.anteroompictures.com,  Accountability websites: www.thekingsmen.us
COMPREHENSIVE porn prevention and recovery resources (always being updated): www.tinyurl.com/PornPreventionResources

MUST-HAVE MEDIA LITERACY / MEDIA MINDFULNESS CURRICULUM BOOKS:
from www.pauline.org
--“Media Mindfulness—Educating Teens About Faith & Media” Sr. Gretchen Hailer & Sr. Rose Pacatte (easy-to-use lesson plans!) www.smp.org
--“Our Media World” Sr. Gretchen Hailer & Sr. Rose Pacatte (Media Literacy/Media Mindfulness K-8) (easy-to-use lesson plans!)
--“Imagining Faith with Kids: Unearthing Seeds of the Gospel in Children’s Stories” (tots to tweens) by Mary Margaret Keaton
--“How To Watch Movies with Kids,” by Sr. Hosea Rupprecht








MORE GREAT BOOKS:

--"Live Christ! Give Christ! Prayers for the New Evangelization" (many are prayers for the media composed by Blessed Fr. James Alberione & mentioned in www.MediaApostle.com)

--"Cleansed"--there's life after porn.

--"Good Pictures, Bad Pictures: Porn-Proofing Today's Young Kids"

WATCH:
www.MediaApostle.com and then download the free study guide to start a conversation about the Church and Media: www.MediaApostle.com/Resources


MUST-READ MAGAZINES:
“Entertainment Weekly” (the latest on ALL entertainment media, serious journalism, even tho’ it looks like a tabloid)
“WIRED” (computers, internet, futuristic technology)




EASY MEDIA STRATEGIES FOR FAMILIES

--Media is comprehensive: CONTENT, TECHNOLOGY, CULTURE, INSTITUTIONS, AUDIENCES


--We CHOOSE HOW WE USE media. We can change, go back, adapt, re-think, modify, perfect!

--How can I use media in a way that respects HUMAN DIGNITY and never destroys it?


--How can I make MEDIA WORK FOR ME AND MY FAMILY and never against us?
We can make media work for us through:
  • DISCIPLESHIP—We need to follow, glorify & imitate Jesus in everything we do, including media.
  • DISCERNMENT—We need to make good media choices (media technology use and media content).
  • DISCIPLINE—Practice makes perfect. We need self-mastery, to be in control of media rather than it controlling us.

--CONTROL IS FOR THE MOMENT, COMMUNICATION IS FOR A LIFETIME. (Talk at length with your kids about media so they process, think, agree, decide, gain skills to make good choices on their own.)

--“Choose, apportion, accompany & correct young people’s media use.” –Blessed Fr. James Alberione

--We need to PRAY about our media use: it’s powerful, it’s everywhere, and it’s the stuff of our lives.

--All media are virtual reality. VIRTUALITY IS REAL. Real in appearance and effects. In media, a partial gift of the bodily presence is there, but the full gift of the bodily presence is not.

--Bodies are not optional. We need to give each other the GIFT OF OUR FULL BODILY PRESENCE. Face time and undivided attention is the best form of communication. Other mediated forms are secondary. The people bodily present to us always have precedence (rather than people we can communicate with through media).

--There are 3 SACRED PLACES (tables & altars) where we DON’T NEED SCREENS or mediated communication.

  • CHURCH: God is present
  • FAMILY TABLE: the images of God are present
  • MASTER BEDROOM: the primary image of God, “male & female He created them,” are present
If it’s absolutely necessary to use media in these 3 places, intentionally excuse yourself, take care of the matter in another space, and then return.

--The Church believes that the MEDIA ARE GIFTS OF GOD, and that we should use them and use them well.

--God is everywhere in the media, especially in human persons. We can’t hurt God through media, but we can hurt human beings. We need to focus on how human dignity is respected (or not) in media.

--We need to transfer the Gospel into virtual reality: WWJDO? What Would Jesus Do Online? If we wouldn’t/shouldn’t do it in person, don’t do it online. (The Golden Rule also applies!)

--“Internet Safety” includes being safe here AND hereafter. Since we are spending 7 hours a day online, we are “working out our salvation” partially online.




BEST MEDIA LITERACY BOOKS: www.tinyurl.com/BestMediaLitBooks


August 18, 2009

MOVIES: “500 DAYS OF SUMMER”


YYY 1/2


A young woman who doesn't want to commit. A young man who's smitten. We usually think of it the other way around, but Summer (Zooey Deschanel—some of her best work to date) doesn't believe in "true love" or finding "the one," and Tom (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) does.

"500 Days of Summer" is fresh, young, not-too-edgy, and uses a technique of showing scenes from the 500 days, numbered, but out of order. It works seamlessly and never feels choppy. The whole winsome-but-not-gooey romance is tied together with a soundtrack which often breaks into the story itself because Summer and Tom bond over a shared love of music (Deschanel, also a singer in real life, gets to perform—as she often does in her on-screen roles).

Where do Summer and Tom get their respective, conflicting ideas about love? A brief but important retrospective of their growing-up years tells all. Summer is the child of divorce, Tom is the child of pop culture with its hope-filled dreams. But their stubborn clinging to their fixed ideas blocks them both from facing reality. Although "500 Days" is a light touch (though not quite a romantic comedy), Tom's pain can truly be felt. Tom's advantage is that he's not alone. His buddies and his little sister all help interpret and even narrate his love life for him, with some not-too-shoddy advice. Love isn't just a private thing, it's a social thing. It's heartening to see how much the younger generation "gets right" about love. The disheartening part is the (all too true-to-life) complete trivialization of the body and sex. Even though Tom complains about the casualness of it all, it doesn't slow him down one bit. The emphasis is on the spiritual, finding a soul mate, almost to the point of a kind of "spiritualism" of male/female relationships.

I would have rated this "R" for the several coarse moments. It's true kids see this kind of stuff daily, but it's almost worse when it's portrayed in such a sweet, consequence-neutral manner. I wish I could say: "Fifteen-year-olds and up might actually benefit (with guidance for the objectionable parts and purely 'feelings' criterion for love) from the many age-old truisms and good pieces of advice regarding twenty-first century love relationships." BUT here's the problem: there's two very quick scenes (among other hopelessly dishonest scenes) of the two watching porn (we only see the video jacket). Summer says: "that looks do-able," and they try it behind a thickly clouded shower curtain. Porn is oh-so-quaint-and-harmless. No big deal. For couples. And this generation is so cool and media-jaded that they are completely in control and above-it-all when it comes to porn. Um, not. Porn is more addictive than crack cocaine. We must keep calling the bluff of this lie that is now firmly embedded in mainstream culture. There's a lot of money riding on the normalization of porn. We're supposed to nod like bobbleheads to the lie and not be shocked as we see it seeping in EVERYWHERE. Sorry, no can do. Those who work in porn prevention and recovery say that even so-called "soft porn" is a gateway drug. How unfortunate that this lovely film is marred in this most grotesque way, even though supposedly "everyone's doing it." It's such a shame that this well-crafted, sensitively acted movie is sugar coating dollops of poison.

The ambience of the movie incorporates a huge swath of influences from foreign films, the 60's, jazz, literature, art, architecture—in which we can feel the protagonists sincerely reaching out for meaning, authenticity and beauty. An attempt is made to make the city of Los Angeles a character in the movie, but it doesn't happen. The clichés ring true that the city of L. A. rings hollow (I lived there for five years): soul-less, history-less, community/communion-less. Instead, the city almost stands as a cautionary symbol of what can happen when we don't risk, don't commit, don't suffer in love.

Summer is reminiscent of the genuine-love-phobic Holly (Audrey Hepburn) in "Breakfast at Tiffanys" (a movie that many young people today are re-discovering and "trust"—in their own words!) A line from the movie states: "People DO belong to each other." We don't need movies from 1961 or 2009 to tell us so, but "Breakfast" and "500 Days" certainly reinforce our own conviction that love trumps all.

In the end, "500 Days" is Tom's fated/fatalist/determinist/magic-pixie-dust idea of love versus Summer's serious/troubled/sad/it-never-works-out-so-let's-just-have-fun idea of love. The truth about love is somewhere in between.

"Love consists of a commitment which limits one's freedom—it is a giving of the self, and to give oneself means to limit one's freedom on behalf of the other. This might seem to be something negative or unpleasant, but love makes it a positive, joyful and creative thing. "Freedom exists for the sake of love. Man longs for love more than for freedom—freedom is the means, and love is the end." --JP2G, "Love and Responsibility"

There's no God in the movie. BUT there is an attempt to match earthly events with some kind of cosmic significance. (The primal religious impulse. Which is good, but left to itself it becomes superstition.) I wanted to stand up in the theater and shout: "Yes! Yes! There is a cosmic significance to your relationships--and it starts with the body!" Theology. Of. The. Body. "The body and it alone makes visible the mystery: the spiritual and the divine." TOB #76.

An O. Henry's "The Gift of the Magi"-style exchange of gifts is given and both Summer and Tom are better for it. At the beginning of the movie we were warned that this was not a love story. But it is.

March 17, 2009

BOOKS: "PORN NATION"



This is an excellent book by a regular, successful businessman (ironically or fittingly, he was in the fledgling, mid-20th-century computer industry) and family man who became a porn addict and lost his job, family, everything. He has lots of good advice for recovery (but not quite as much for prevention).

He calls our nation "Porn Nation" (because the first generation who grew up with internet porn is coming of age). This is a step-by-step profile of how it happens (and it doesn't happen overnight). He also makes some chilling predictions about the future:

1. hypersexual media content +
2. enabling technologies =         
3. sociosexual pathologies in a great number of what would have otherwise been sexually well-adjusted individuals

The author now devotes his life to taking his anti-porn message to college campuses and all around the country (even debates reguarly with ex-porn star Ron Jeremy). He has been on Oprah.

September 25, 2012

BEST THEOLOGY OF THE BODY RESOURCES!



























SERIOUS ABOUT A COURSE OF STUDIES?
--Theology of the Body Institute (founded by Christopher West) in Pennsylvania: www.tobinstitute.org (week-long seminars with Christopher West and various instructors, with the possibility of certification when 8 courses completed).
--John Paul II Institute for Studies on Marriage and the Family, Washington, DC. (The first JP2 Institute was founded by JP2 himself, in Rome.) www.johnpaulii.edu
--I am presently based in the Archdiocese of Toronto, Ontario, CANADA, and offer TOB talks, as well as short and long "TOB Training" courses, as well as an online Certificate course through www.sacredheartcollege.ca
For more information: srhelenaburns@gmail.com
--If you're interested in my 40-hour audio course (not for credit, self-conducted), please email me: srhelenaburns@gmail.com
--DIY online study: Fr. Sprott has done his own critique of TOB. This course is good for TOB skeptics, those with a little background in theology, for seminarians/priests/deacons, etc.:
Discount CODE: ThanksJP2 will get you 30% off.
"Discover Theology of the Body"
10-hour video lecture series with Fr. Robert Sprott, OFM, PhD.  
Download the free study guide (with discussion questions and more): pauline.org/TOBguide

THE BASICS
--www.pauline.org  actual Theology of the Body text: “Male & Female He Created Them--a Theology of the Body,”Christopher West did an easy-to-understand paraphrase/commentary called "Theology of the Body Explained," also available from www.pauline.org)  “TOB Made Simple," "Love and Responsibility" and much more!
--www.christopherwest.com  books, free downloads, DVDs, CDs (also, search for Christopher West and Jason Evert YouTubes) Also, Christopher's www.CorProject.com
--www.theologyofthebody.net  all kinds of TOB resources / speakers / Fr. Loya DVDs / Spanish TOB
--www.ascensionpress.com  line of TOB books, CDs, DVDs
--“Biology of the Theology of the Body,” Vicki Thorn, RN (the science to back up TOB)—she also founded “Project Rachel” for post-abortion healing—Her DVDs/CDs:
www.theologyofthebody.net
--www.taborlife.org  Fr. Thomas Loya—premiere TOB speaker, available also for retreats, men’s porn recovery, etc. His study group: www.ustream.com/channel/theology-of-the-body Past classes are archived.
--Pope Benedict’s intro to TOB: “On the Collaboration of Men and Women in the Church and in the World” www.vatican.va 



BEST THEOLOGY OF THE BODY INTRODUCTIONS
--Christopher West DVDs (various study series w workbooks) www.ascensionpress.com
--"Love and Responsibility" by Karol Wojtyla (John Paul II) www.pauline.org / Want easy version? "Men, Women and the Mystery of Love" by Edward Sri

--The actual text: "Male and Female He Created Them--A Theology of the Body" John Paul II www.pauline.org (Christopher West did an awesome paraphrase/commentary called "Theology of the Body Explained," also available from www.pauline.org)
--In the actual Theology of the Body text is a long introduction by Dr. Michael Waldstein--excellent (frames TOB in Church history and philosophy)
--"Men and Women Are From Eden" by Dr. Mary Healy (the only TOB Sparknotes--a very short, complete overview with Scripture quotes & study questions)
--"On the Collaboration of Men and Women in the Church and in the World" by Cardinal Joseph Ratzinger (Pope Benedict).  www.vatican.va

--"Theology of the Body Made Simple" by Anthony Percy (covers Genesis), very small book
--"Theology of the Body for Beginners" by Christopher West, medium-sized book
--"Theology of His/Her Body" (2 books in one) by Jason Evert (great for teens, mostly relational stuff)

--"Theology of the Body On Screen: Images of the Body in Art & Media" by Sr. Helena Burns www.tinyurl.com/TOBonScreen
--"What Does It Mean To Be Human? Life's Questions, Theology of the Body's Answers" --An easy-read, conversational 22-chapter intro to TOB with review & reflection questions) by Sr. Helena Burns, fsp (for teens, young adults, adults): www.tinyurl.com/TOBtraining The Table of Contents is all the topics listed here in order: www.tinyurl.com/TOBtrainingHF




SPANISH: --www.TheologyOftheBody.net--Spanish DVDs: 
--Plan for a Joy-Filled Marriage in Spanish DVDs: http://ascensionpress.com/products?utf8=%E2%9C%93&keywords=God%27s+Plan+for+a+Joy-Filled+Marriage-Spanish+Edition+DVD+%286-Part+Study%29
--"Good News About Sex & Marriage" by Christopher West  in Spanish from www.ascensionpress.com
--The Theology of the Body text is available in Spanish from Pauline Books & Media, Miami: (305) 559-6715
--(from Mexico): www.SexoSeguro.org Twitter: @sexoseguro
--NYC! @corazonpuroNYC
--Pro-life "180 Movie" in Spanish: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=248QUOMeUw0
--www.TheologyofTheBody.net has many Spanish resources

TOB MARRIAGE PREP COURSE: www.TransformedInLove.com (print)
www.CatholicMarriagePrep.com (online)



GORGEOUS "HUMANUM" VIDEOS!
www.tinyurl.com/HUMANUMvideos

HUMANUM TRAILER:






FOR TEENS: 
--Your pre-teens/teens don't read? Have 'em watch: "The Pure Life" DVDs by Jason and Crystalina Evert. Lame cover art on the DVD, but FANTASTIC 20 min sessions with a teen panel on all kinds of issues: dating, porn, sexuality, etc.!
--“God’s Plan for Your Life—Theology of  the Body for Teens”  (textbook) www.pauline.org
--“YOU! Life, Love & TOB” (DVDs, workbks, parents & leader’s guide)
www.ascensionpress.com
--“Theology of His/Her Body” by Jason Evert (2 books in one, great intro to TOB, very easy read!) www.ascensionpress.com
--“The Thrill of the Chaste”  by Dawn Eden (NYC rock journalist living “Sex and the City” lifestyle, Catholic convert)
--“Wait for Me” by Rebecca St. James (practical ideas)
--www.TOBET.org—teens evangelizing teens with TOB (peer ministry) Monica Ashour’s group out of Texas, can be replicated
--www.RuahWoods.com  (Cincinnati, OH) TOB training seminars, camps (also for adults) 

--www.TheologyOfTheBody.net's collection of talks by Fr. Thomas Loya, Vicki Thorn, etc., available at www.catholicast.com

RESOURCES BY / FOR WOMEN:  

--www.WomenMadeNew.com Healing for Women (www.DemandYourDignity.com)
--“Women, Sex and the Church—a Case for Church Teaching” (compilation of women scholars) www.pauline.org
--“Woman, God’s Masterpiece,” must-hear 2-CD set by Christopher West
--“On the Dignity and Vocation of Woman,” “Letter to Women,” “Women—Teachers of Peace,” all by Pope John Paul II
--Sr. Prudence Allen, RSM: "The Concept of Woman" (she's big into the complementarity of the sexes)
--Janet Smith: "Why Humanae Vitae Was Right--A Reader," "Humanae Vitae: A Generation Later," "Life Issues, Medical Choices," "The Right To Privacy"
--Kimberly Hahn: "Life-Giving Love--Embracing God's Beautiful Design for Marriage"
--Alice von Hildebrand: "The Privilege of Being a Woman"
--Sr. M. Timothy Prokes, FSE: "Towards a Theology of the Body and Mutuality: The Human Image of Trinitarian Love"
      
    http://www.christendom.edu/grad/acad/grad%20prof%20pages/prokes.shtml
--Sr. Therese Auer, OP (Nashville Dominicans) has written something on TOB for use in schools (her specialty is
        
 philosophy) stauer@op-tn.org 615-256-5486
--Sr. Sara Butler: "The Catholic Priesthood and Women" (world-class theologian, Sister was a proponent of women's
        
 ordination for many years, until coming into contact with John Paul II and Theology of the Body)
--Katrina Zeno: “Discovering the Feminine Genius” (formerly "Every Woman's Journey") www.pauline.org and "The Body Reveals God—an Introduction to the Theology of the Body"
--Mary Healy: "Men and Women are from Eden"—great little intro and study guide
--Mary Shivanandan: "Crossing the Threshold of Love"
--Patty Schneier: CDs from http://www.onemoresoul.com/ (talks to parents, teens, and a powerful personal testimony)
--Steve Harvey: “Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man” (with reservations! Harvey is OK with sex before marriage and all kinds of "baby Daddy" arrangements, but he clues women into how men think/act)
--John & Stasi Eldredge: “Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman’s Soul”
--“My Peace I Give You: Healing for Sexual Wounds with the Help of the Saints” by Dawn Eden 



RESOURCES FOR MEN: --Books by John Eldredge (e.g.,“Wild at Heart: Discovering the Secret of a Man’s Soul,” “Fathered by God—Learning What Your Dad Could Never Teach You”),
--anything by Dr. Phil Mango: www.theologyofthebody.net

--excellent new documentary (Netflix & Google Play): "The Mask You Live In"--how ideas today about what it means to "be a man" are false and harming boys/men
--"The Red Pill": a radical feminist changes her mind
--"No Men Beyond This Point" -- hilarious mockumentary
--www.TheFatherEffect.com -- how fathers are desperately needed and the effects their presence/absence has on children
--“Fireproof,” “Courageous,” "War Room"—what does it mean to be a man (and a husband and a father)?
--Fr. Thomas Loya's e-book: "Priesthood, Manhood & Theology of the Body" (a must-read for EVERYONE) www.tinyurl.com/FatherLoyaPriesthoodBook (If we don't understand the priesthood, we don't understand Jesus Christ or Christianity)

MASCULINITY & FEMININITY:

--talk by Dr. Peter Rudegeair  http://couragerc.org/wp-content/uploads/2007_Courage_Order.pdf

EVOLUTION DVDS: 
--Creation or Evolution? DVD from VISION VIDEO
--Theology of Body & Evolution-Dr.Sternberg DVD www.theologyofthebody.net
--Ben Stein's "Expelled" documentary is also good (on Netflix, etc.)

NATURAL FAMILY PLANNING: 

--“Humanae Vitae”  www.vatican.va
--Janet Smith: "Why Humanae Vitae Was Right--A Reader”
--Kimberly Hahn: "Life-Giving Love--Embracing God's Beautiful Design for Marriage"
--Patty Schneier: CDs from http://www.onemoresoul.com/ (talks to: parents on TOB for teens, teens, & a powerful personal testimony)
--Billings Method of Ovulation: www.boma-usa.org

--“Couple to Couple League”
--Important article on the latest NFP science: www.tinyurl.com/LatestNFP
--Some of the dangers of artificial contraception: http://bodyecology.com/articles/dangers_birth_control_pill.php
www.harmfromhormones.co.uk 

--Effects of abortion on women's health (including link to breast cancer): http://hushfilm.com/
--"Humanae Vitae Day": 6 talks explaining Humanae Vitae, and Natural Planning vs. Contraception. Sr. Helena explains the Theology of the Body perspective on HV / a nurse and NFP instructor explains the Billings Ovulation Method / two NFP couples give testimonies on their experience. (All 6 talks: www.tinyurl.com/TOBsoundcloud)


INFERTILITY (and other issues of women and men's sexual/reproductive health):
--
www.NaProtechnology.com natural, 
moral, safe, effective medical treatments based on lastest science. 
--Nat’l Center for Women’s Health: www.popepaulvi.com
--book: "Facing Infertility" www.pauline.org


HOMOSEXUALITY / SAME-SEX ATTRACTION / "GAY MARRIAGE":
--www.CourageRC.net  (also Spanish) Courage International is the largest Catholic spiritual support group for same-sex attracted Catholics, founded in NYC in 1980. It now has chapters all over the world. Twitter: @RCCourage and @TruthandLoveRC

--Are you a young adult Catholic experiencing SSA? Where can you hang out online with other faithful SSA Catholics? www.edeninvitation.com
--Books: “Homosexuality and the Catholic Church” by Fr. John Harvey
--“The Heart of Female Same-Sex Attraction” by Janelle Hallman www.ivpress.com
--film: www.EverlastingHills.org (watch online)
--film: The Third Way: 
http://hellburns.blogspot.ca/2014/04/same-sex-attracted-catholics-tell-their.html#.VBUd4vldWjk (watch online)
--"Loving My LGBT Neighbor--Being Friends in Grace and Truth" by Glenn Stanton
--"Living the Truth in Love--Pastoral Approaches to Same-Sex Attraction" by Dr. Janet E. Smith & Fr. Paul Check
--"Why I Don't Call Myself Gay--How I Reclaimed My Sexual Reality and Found Peace" by Dan Mattson
--"The Truth About Homosexuality" by Fr. John Harvey
--"Yes to You" -- "Fr. Pontifex" (spoken word YouTube) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bXq4izbFgAM
--"What Is Marriage?" by Robert P. George & others
--"One Man, One Woman," "The Gender Agenda," both by Dale O'Leary
--"I Just Came for the Ashes" by Robin Beck (hear her testimony here: www.tinyurl.com/TOBpodcast )
--www.WhyGenderMatters.com Dr. Leonard Sax

TRANSGENDER:
--Go to www.CourageRC.net website and search for "transgender"--great articles from John Hopkins University, American Pediatrics Ass'n, etc.
--"Understanding Gender Dysphoria--Navigating Transgender Issues in a Changing Culture" by Mark A. Yarhouse
--What the Catholic Church teaches about transgender; http://www.ccbi-utoronto.ca/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/Bioethics-Matters_MMcQueen_CatholicTeaching_Transgender_March2016_Vol141_FINAL.pdf

GENDER IDEOLOGY:
--Videos available from a 2017 Conference at St. John Vianney Seminary in Denver (scroll down): https://www.regonline.com/GenderIdeologyConfVideos2017
--"Gender Reality" abstract by Sr. Prudence Allen, RSM. This paper seeks to answer to following questions from a Philosophical Methodology: What is the conflict between Gender Reality and Gender Ideology? How did Sex and Gender Ideologies Begin? What are the Characteristics of Sex and Gender Ideologies? How did Gender Ideology ‘Go Viral?’ Who Mapped the Virus of Gender Ideology? How can Gender Reality be Ransomed? https://philarchive.org/archive/ALLGR
--The Canadian Bishops just dropped a lit Theology of the Body document: Short, sweet, easy read!

--"Gender & LGBTQ" talks by Sr. Helena:






FREE PODCASTS:
www.tinyurl.com/TOBpodcast (Sr. Helena & others)
www.tinyurl.com/TOBandWOMENpodcasts 1-5 (need to go in order)
www.tinyurl.com/TOBsoundcloud Sr. Helena's talks

PORNOGRAPHY: 

 www.tinyurl.com/PornPreventionResources (comprehensive collection of porn prevention and recovery resources!)
www.ReclaimSexualHealth.com (confidential online help for all kinds of sexual addictions)   
www.PornKillsLove.com       www.ThePornEffect.com         www.PornHarms.com
The BEST book on porn ever (includes copious studies):



PORN PREVENTION FOR KIDS:
www.ProtectYoungMinds.org  (includes book "Good Pictures, Bad Pictures")



PRO-LIFE: 
--www.The40Film.com (the lastest on abortion, lots of testimonies from women, answers every argument for abortion, great for teens!) Study guide available
--www.humanlife.org free chastity, relationships, pro-life resources    
--www.rockforlife.org – info, T-shirts, etc.
--“180 Movie” YouTube (pro-abort teens change minds on spot) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7y2KsU_dhwI
"180 Movie" in SPANISH: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=248QUOMeUw0
--“Unplanned” DVD & book by Abby Johnson, former director of one of the largest Planned Parenthoods in America

--www.OneMoreSoul.com
--How the Pill Harms Health, Relationships, Men and the Environment: http://www.catholicnewsagency.com/news/the-science-of-attraction-how-the-pill-is-changing-who-women-want-79290/
--Effects of abortion on women's health (including link to breast cancer): http://hushfilm.com/

CURRICULUM FOR KIDS & "SEX ED": 
--www.RuahWoods.com has a K-12 curriculum! www.ruahwoodspress.com
--www.TeenStar.org  
Dr. Hanna Klaus, MD teaches abstinence AND sex ed with great results.
Sexual Teaching in the context of Adult Responsibility

--www.familyhonor.org  Sex Ed taught in the family
--Must-read book about the origins of the sex ed industry and their true agendas! "You're Teaching My Child WHAT? A Physician Exposes the Lies of Sex Education and How They Harm Your Child" by Dr. Miriam Grossman, MD
--For ages 4-7: "God Has a Plan for Boys and Girls," "Everybody Has Something To Give," "Everybody Has Something To Say" www.pauline.org
--Other resources: 
http://hellburns.blogspot.com/2012/05/theology-of-body-sex-ed.html#.UYifk6Jwr0c

RANDOM: YouTubes of me presenting TOB to 8th graders and their parents: www.YouTube.com/helraphaelfsp

THE MOST COMPREHENSIVE BIBLIOGRAPHY ON HUMAN SEXUALITY IN THE WORLD--FROM A SOLID CATHOLIC PERSPECTIVE (25 pages):
https://www.dropbox.com/s/3mpo1tviubwaxnk/2017Sexuality-BibliographyBURNS.pdf?dl=0
(prepared with notes by Fr. Kevin Belgrave, St. Augustine's Seminary, Archdiocese of Toronto)

THE MOST COMPREHENSIVE BIBLIOGRAPHY ON HUMAN SEXUALITY IN THE WORLD--FROM A SOLID CATHOLIC PERSPECTIVE--ABRIDGED (10 pages):
https://www.dropbox.com/s/4yx4kw9exidql21/2016SeminarBelgraveHandoutcopy.pdf?dl=0